Am i crazy?

I just dont understand how people can be so deeply lost to where they would want to die. Its a weird mentality to me. Not only is it self indulgent to where it affects loved ones, but its the only life we get. Maybe they have never been on a crash course with death before. People never really appreciate things until its gone i suppose. NOT ME THOUGH! I think all the time how blessed i am to even be able to move. Many cannot. How i do not die of starvation because many are. How i have comfot in the bed i lay in because many will not have that blessing. THEY SHOULD THOUGH! I love the fact i can smell a rose, or see the magnetic ocean. To hear music being played or the wonderful sound of a child's laughter. Life is such an adventure with new places and people and new knowledge that helps your own personal growth. Am i crazy to have this mentality when all that around me is negative? Am i living in a delusional state of bliss? I know it is MY CHOICE to see the glass as half empty or half full. I once led a miserable lonely life with self indulgence and inner hatred when i saw the glass as empty. It seems to me that life is so much brighter knowing that its not completely empty and i still have many sips to appreciate.

Refried bean recipe i made up

1/2 package garbanzo beans (dry 16oz)
1/2 package kidney beans (dry 16oz)
1/2 package pinto beans (dry 16oz)
1 1/2 tbspn crushed red pepper
1 tspn cayenne pepper
3 tbspn garlic powder
3 tbspn onion powder
1 1/2 tbspn creole seasoning
1 tbspn salt
I cup conola oil
Soak beans overnight. Sift through to pick bad beans out. Cook on low heat WITHOUT draining soak water. Add spices and oil. After about 20 min start mashing beans. Water will boil down so when beans start to stick a little after stir put one cup water back into it. Repeat process until desired consistancy.