Livingnecessity goal!

Hey peeps. I have a goal that i would like to meet. I am trying to add at least 5 new resources to my www.livingnecessity.com website each day until the end of the year! That way i will have at least 360 to 400 available resources for people to get their needs met whether it be food, shelter, clothes, rental assistance, medication help, dental work, etc BUT I NEED YOUR HELP. If you know of any resources in your area, please contact me at jason@livingnecessity.com so i can start creating your state full of resources. Remember, the information you provide could change the lives of many for the future! You willing to be that angel? Let us all come together and make this world a little easier place to live in!

Awesome soulmate action

I had a dream last night of my soulmate and it was so cool. Im 31 and have never had a boy friend and never really cared too much about getting one. Not that i didn't want to know what it was like to fall in love but as i went through life and established friendships with others, i knew my life wasn't like normal peoples to where they have failed relationships and devastation and falling in love again and all that. I have always known that there will be only one love that i get to experience and it would be towards the end of my life. Ive always, since about 19 or 20, communicated in my dreams with that person. Just little things like i cant wait to meet you, or let him know when i have been down and out that i needed him. He always responded back in my dream too and has done the same thing with me. He even called me recently to san diego saying that time is coming soon and he will be here waiting for when i am ready. Its been a subconscious love that has driven me to live through things doctors say should have killed me a long time ago. So last night i heard his voice for the first time ever! We were on the phone talking about how much we missed each other and how it has been so long since we last touched and we laughed about corny jokes i believe we were talking about through the lives we both had here apart from another and at the end before i woke up he said that he loved me and time is coming for both of us to unite again and share the rest of our lives together just like we both planned. Ive always known that my life was nothing but a fun adventure and never feared death because i knew how i was going to die, when i was going to die, and who will be around when i die and I've always known my only reason for living is to live life until i reach my soulmate again so we can both die together in each others arms. Ive loved this person for many lifetimes and know i will probably play this game called life again to find him all over again and find that one true love. To me, love is eternal. Through life, through death. It lives on forever. I love you soul mate and i will keep my heart open and my eyes peeled! I hear your voice now!

Got Knocked Out!

So, last night as I was walking home from a friends I had bought a 40 of corona that I was going to go home and drink before going to bed because I got a job doing some construction work. So I'm walking down the street talking to a friend from high school about some issues she was going through and giving advice and I walk past the bar that I live by and there is this black guy shouting at the top of his lungs at this little guy and being all irritating. So I just stop and see whats going to happen because I have a very curious nature and I personally like seeing others drama (I thank society for that due to many hours of watching violent things on tv because of a lack of parental supervision). So anyways, this guy walks in the street like he is about to go to his car and then comes back and shoves this guy into the wall against the bar and I immediately should "what the fuck man, don't do that shit" so he comes over to me and says "fuck you, you want a piece of me too" (now I so hate that tough guy bullshit stupid ass ignorant talk so that pissed me off. Hes like "you dont want to fuck with me, I'll burn you" (he had a smoke he was smoking as did I) so I was like "bitch I got a 40 in my hand that Ill crack on your fucking skull and burn you back" lol. I was raised in the ghetto so you have to excuse me. Immediately he cracked me in the skull and I am guessing it knocked me down (I didnt think that until today when I woke up my butt was bruised, wrists are sore to the point of its really hard even typing this) I took my 40 (normally if a 40 is in a bag and you want to use it as a weapon, you do a double wrap with the bag around the wrist, grab the base and uppercut or backhand) but I didnt have that position so i ended up swinging the 40 and it broke the bag and the 40 went splashing down in the road (another irritation cuz im poor as hell and that bitch cost like 4 dollars) So I am like fuck this ill just call the cops and get your black ass arrested instead of fighting you back. Im over this dumb shit. So he tries grabbing my IPHONE (a very good reason I am poor. sorry verizon but you cost to damn much for unlimited shit) and I immediately grab it like its my dick and start dialing 911. He tried bashing it into a light pole and only slightly dinged it with paint (thank god cuz iphones are fucking expensive to replace) and I call the cops and he splits. (no comment but insert comment if you wish). So the cop gets there and I tell him the story and all that and they ask if I want to press charges and of course I say yes. This is the only time I have been hit since like 4th grade! even then I don't think I was hit, I just beat some guys ass by putting him in a headlock. Other than that, I'm a hippie. Peace. Love. Harmony. End war, Make love, smoke weed type guy. Not a Im a barbaric idiot that has no intellectual capacity to resolve conflicts with communication and understanding so ill just pound your face type guy. I freaking hate those type of guys. I just think its funny though because there were witnesses out there that kept on telling me how brave I was to defend a man I didn't even know and how that was an act of bravery and they all wanted to buy me drinks because I was sad about my 40. (still kind of mourning the loss of the 4 dollar 40 but I replaced it with another one so actually it just became an 8 dollar 40) anyways but I honestly don't think it was heroic or brave or anything like that. To me, if I was the person who was getting shoved up against a wall, I know I would have wanted someone to try to stop the guy that was doing it to me if the guy was bigger. Thats it. That and maybe parial insanity cuz I'm very tra la la with a quick to react mentality. I dont know. I think the whole thing was funny and stupid. BUT my buttbone hurts, my jaw is throbbing, I am all migrainey and my wrist hurts and ibuprofen isnt helping so I'm taking my ass to the hospital. Fuck the dumb shit. So ya... thats my story I'm sticking to it :-) PEACE!

Church Meal In Normal Heights San Diego

So, I finally decided to check out this church that offers meals called Christ United Methodist Church. It's located at 3295 Meade Avenue in San Diego California. They have meals Monday through Friday from 5pm-7pm for homeless/low income families that places like VONS/Jack-In-The-Box and other various places donate food/supplies too. Let me tell you that was the best free meal I have EVER had. I am in a place right now to where I am barely able to make ends meet so maybe I am just EXTRA appreciative of this service that was offered, but the meal consisted of a ham/cheese type keish with a crumb topping, vegetable soup, spinach salad, and a fruit parfait that was just amazing as well. So, I decided that I should offer my services in helping clean up after everyone left and I did so. By the way, the people there are really nice people, very social and talkative. There was even a lady who brought her dog in because she had found him left in a shopping cart half starved and obviously abused so she decided to take him into her home and give him a loving home. These are the type of people I met today. Anyways, There is one guy that is a cook and a lady that serves the food to people and another kid who is apparently 18 years old and I sensed mentally challenged. I kind of think the cook and the lady are as well (I sense these things pretty well being mentally challenged myself in some ways as well as having been around this classification of people for most of my life). The lady and the man started talking after the kid had left because he had a curfew of being home by dark (another two and two i put together with my awesome handivision) and were discussing how sometimes this kid only did half assed things and it really didn't help so they were thinking of asking him NOT to come back and help because it only made more work for them. Now, I do understand that mentality because (I think they had OCD issures, not 100 percent so don't quote me) I have that type of tendency myself. HOWEVER, my thoughts are this sweet little kid who was really nice and had good manners is volunteering to help these people with the kindness of his heart and soul. THAT RIGHT THERE IS SOMETHING SPECIAL! To me, I don't understand saying to a person "I don't want your help because its not helping". I personally say, HELP ALL YOU WANT, and if its not dont my way, I just go and backtrack to get things done my way. There are so many selfish, ungrateful people in this world that don't want to help anyone that if they DO SHOW AN ACTIVE INTEREST IN HELPING HUMANITY, SUPPORT IT AT ALL COSTS! Apparently I am going back tommorrow cuz they were pleased with my help, but I am going to have a little talk with them on this subject. I don't judge them as a person because they also are really nice people doing a very nice cause for the community, but I am a blunt person that has to speak my mind whenever I feel my mind should speak. All in all, this is a wonderful place with a wonderful community doing a wonderful thing with awesome food! God bless that church and everyone in it. ALL CHURCHES SHOULD BE LIKE THIS! The world would no longer hunger if that was the case!

Feelings

I know I don't talk a lot about my feelings or experiences in life because a lot of people frankly don't want to hear it, or so I have come to believe. I figured I would express it now. At least some of it. When I was 19 and my friend had told me to go hitchhiking, I did so. I up and left everything and everyone I knew on a journey that I was not sure I would come back from. I left without any fear because it was an adventure to me. It was new and fresh. I didn't think of things like how am I going to eat, where will I sleep, what if I die. It was my first real feeling of GOD being present in my life and I didn't even know it until the end of my journey hitchhiking. I remember as I walked from El Paso, TX to Anthony, NM in order to get my stuff that was stolen from me that I had acquired through hitchhiking, I felt so exhausted and hungry and hot and thirsty and yet I kept walking and walking for what seemed like an eternity. I never felt alone though. I always kind of knew that GOD was walking with me and felt like we just were doing it together. I felt that mainly because of the couple that brought me back to El Paso in the first place talking all the way from KC Missouri to El Paso about the bible and GOD and the Devil so I'm sure it was fresh in my mind. Regardless, I felt it and I trusted it. I loved the concept of. Shortly afterwards, I became completely paralyzed and rather quickly. I went into ICU and the doctors weren't hopeful that I would survive and said that even if I did that there might be a possibility that I never fully come out of the paralysis. I remember the day or two before I snapped out of it very clearly. I had closed my eyes to go to sleep and I saw my dead friend (the one who told me I should hitchhike in the first place) and he was standing in front of me, just hovering and smiling and told me that it was ok if I wanted to go. That it's nothing to fear. There will be no more pain or sorrow and then a white hand reached out in front of him. I remember wanting SOOO bad to go. To leave all the pain behind but as I went and reached out my hand I smelt the sense of roses and then saw pictures of mountains that I have never seen and flashes of acres of different colored flowers and then people I had never met and I knew my choice right then. It was to live with the pain of life because I knew that with all that pain I would have to go through, I would be on that adventure once again to see those mountains, to meet those people, and smell those flowers. Through my life I have outlived some people that should have outlived me. I have been told by many of doctors that they don't understand why I am still alive. Even down to a month or two ago my doctor saying in all the years he has been a doctor he has never seen a person with such a high viral load and not be sick or even dead. The only thing I can come up with that makes sense is that I CHOOSE TO LIVE. EVERYDAY! I don't want to die, so I don't. I'm not scared to die at all. I know that once I do die, all my pain will just disappear. God told me so a long time ago and I trusted that and I still do, but I would rather HURT EVERY SINGLE DAY OF MY LIFE dealing with emotional, physical, spiritual, and mental pain than to give up on this adventure. I CANT GIVE UP! This lifetime is so blessed in so many ways for me to be like I am done. I want to live until GOD says "I'm sorry jason, you just cannot live another day. I wish you could but it's your time as well as everyone elses". Until that day comes, no matter how sick I am, no matter how much I am in pain, no matter how tired and weak I become. I will live. I will never complain about it either because not only am I tough, I am blessed! I don't know the reasoning for me telling all this but it just came to me in my head and I figured I would share it with the world. I love this fucking world! As crazy and insane as it is, as sad as it sometimes makes me. I love it! I am glad to be a part of it, and I wouldn't trade my experiences in it for anything else. Thank you GOD for giving me a choice to live in it. Amen!

Church

So last night I went to this little Pentecostal church that is right down the street from me. I wasn't going to because I had gone to the doctors and hadn't eaten all day and was kind of hungry but it was literally 730p when I walked past the church on my route home and I was like Okay it wont hurt to just go. I get in there and its just maybe 7 people besides myself (pastor/wife included) and they start praising. Now it just think its funny when people say hallelujah over and over like a broken record. So I was holding in some giggles and just trying to focus on my own prayer to god while they did that for what seemed to be a good 15 minutes. We finally got down to it and he started talking different scriptures about jews and stuff. Didn't really pay attention to it too much, I was having my own conversations with god. Then they started talking about there not being a holy trinity. That jesus was in fact god and that grabbed my attention. So I listened again. The way they were talking about jesus though, it scared me. They made it sound like jesus was like a demon to be exorcized. They also started talking about speaking in tongue (that right there just reminds me of harry potter) so I am like OMG did I just join team slytherine BUT NOOOOOOO I'm team griffindor. I always knew instinctively that the devil ruled the tongue, hense blasphemers, but when I heard that I was like this is too wierd and culty for me. I love my god, i worship my god, but if I get an eery presence around me feeling like this isnt right. I just cannot be there any longer. I respect your beliefs Pentacostal religion, but I do not agree. I found out last night I was NOT that. I then started to wonder.... what if I got baptized in all the religions you can get baptized in. I mean, the root is love so it wouldn't be a bad thing I guess. I am trying to dedicate my life to you GOD, and only you. I guess my first mission in life is to understand the differences in religion and how its ok because as twisted as it may seem, they only intend to have good intentions. They want love, and to know how to love. They are human.

Take for Granted

Why is it people take for granted that when they rest, they will wake up? Is it trust? Where does that trust come from? Why don't you just thank that thing that gives you the ability to trust to wake up to see another day right now. Just say HEY, THANK YOU! I TRUST IN YOU! Why do so many people walk past beautiful flowers that are full of vibrant colors just screaming for your attention saying LOVE ME, LOVE ME! Next time you see a flower just go up to it and say I DO LOVE YOU! We all want to be loved but yet we find it so hard because we want to put ourselves in a world of bubbles. Our bubble in our car, our bubble in our work, our bubble in our family, our bubble in our friends. We fear so much coming out of that bubble that we are blinded. We stop losing appreciation for those little things in life. We stop putting trust in life. I encourage everyone to just start by the little things. Pay attention to your surroundings more. Right next to you could be standing a person that is two inches away from suicide with a look of sorrow in their soul and by just you saying hi and noticing them might give them a feeling of connection. A reason to live. Your kindness and willingness to connect might be the one thing that changes a persons life to where they go out and change another and another and another. We live in a world of hopelessness and fear and war and poverty and sorrow. But we also live in a world of hope and faith and love and community and peace. We get lost in our lives, lost in our routines, lost in our bubble and fail to realize that same hopelessness can be changed into hope with just a loving soul that may be next to you right now. I hope we all find our "heaven" and no one has to have to endure hell on earth at its finest. But YOU have to be an active participant in making it "heaven on earth" as well. We all do! It starts with a simple HELLO!